It's a Man's World

Im going to let you in on some of my findings over the last few years and maybe even help you too! You know that old saying “If you can’t beat them join them”. Genius… Men seem to have this god given right that means that it’s OK for them to put their pants on the floor instead of in the wash basket. Or leaving the toilet seat up because they have a Penis and everyone must know about it. So this is how I get through my life without shoving dirty pants in his pillowcase or super glueing the bloody seat down.

I now put my pants on the floor also! This may sound a little bit mad but trust me ladies if you are bending down everyday to pick up pants, you WILL feel much better about it if you are collecting your own aswell. Somehow this seems to make all the diffrence! It is now a much happier part of day… 

Ahh the toilet seat, this I’m afraid will only work if you have children that also use the loo. It’s called guilt. Tell them that their child will fall down into the toilet in a sleepy state, in the middle of the night if they dont stop doing this. And… that he will be the one getting up and going to their rescue when it happens. Ta Da!

New to the list, for snoring. A nasal spray before bed, this seems to be getting me a good solid 6hrs before I have to shift him on to his side and be groaned at. Get a good one like Sudafed… magic. Before this i had considered decorating the spare room for one of us (him) to go into in the middle of the night, think i will actually keep my options open on this one.

Attach things to walls terribly, I am officially not aloud to do any DIY. Infact my chap actually hid the screwdrivers from me to avoid any mishaps. I would love to say this was deliberate but the fact is I am just not good at it, and also impatient. I can just about manage flat pack furniture but he will go over it and tighten all the screws up. This on the other hand now works in my favour and things get done very quickly around here! I even received a shiny new glue gun for Christmas for my crafty things and i suspect to avoid me using hammers and nails. Oh and if any of my friends are reading this and you’re ever around mine, please do not touch the bookcase!

Play load music out of your tablet. If he has a good ear and your tablet or phone sounds as crap as mine, the terrible sound will annoy him so much you may get new speakers in the kitchen.

Classic… Don’t YOU really deserve a takeaway, what a long week YOU have had. Ha ha no cooking for me!

Pets.. now I need some help on this one. Iv have tried everything and I mean everything. I have ensured he has been at his absolute happiest when i have mentioned it! I have included how good it would be for the kids. So far I may be able to get a German Shepard (his dog of choice) in a year or so if I get a book and study about the breed. All very responsible I know, but i feel this is a little unfair considering how well I maintain the children and they my friends, most definately, did not come with a frigging book.. so any tips on this would be appreciated. Yes I realise I have just compared my children to a dog but they are mine and I am aloud!

Have a lovely day. x

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